Op-Ed: Why are coaches at the highest level leaving the profession?
Why are coaches at the highest level, leaving the profession?
I have not spoken to any of the guys who have recently; stepped away, hung up the whistle, made their last recruiting call, and warmed up their last collegiate goalie…but having made the same decision in 2021 (without being half as successful as they were) after 11 seasons coaching college lacrosse, I have a hunch as to the potential why’s behind their departure.
None of the following reasons can be labeled the “biggest reason.” That can only be decided by the individual.
But I will tell you this, I don’t think it’s “all about the Benjamins.”
The place to start is family & relationships. These 2 words are spoken about at length in programs at all levels across the country. The problem is, if you are committing emotional and tangible resources to the “family” and “relationships” on your team, something has to be deprioritized. What takes a back seat? Your “real” family and “outside” relationships.
Whether it is watching more film on a Tuesday night when the scout is due to be finalized on Wednesday, leaving your girlfriend to sit home alone again. Or a Saturday in September when that top recruit has his only chance to visit campus, and your weekend plans with your wife, brother and his significant other need to be cancelled. Or it’s a Friday night Friendsgiving in November with your “crew.” Friday night was best for everyone…except you. You got an offer to work an event during the November live period, and who doesn’t need another $650+, when you need to be at the venue the next day anyways? (Or worse, you need the $$ to supplement your salary. Not a problem for the guys with the most recent departures, but a reality for most others).
The list goes on. You name to the “life” event, and there’s always something that the job of being a successful lacrosse assistant coach could surface to take it away.
Bottom line, I’ll bet some of these guys are making the choice to prioritize their time with families, friends, and sharing life experiences with their loved ones.
Another reason guys leave is “burn out.” Again, it takes everything to give your team a chance to play to their potential. Late nights. Early mornings. Practice planning, travel, individual meetings, film cutting, texts, phone calls, house visits. Monday 6a lifts. Friday afternoon lifts. Saturday morning practices in the fall. The list is infinite…24/7/365
And I’ll be the first to say, all the men who have recently walked away are certainly not scared of the work. It’s just that the work necessary has a severely slim ROI on “success.” The work is “table stakes.” It has to be done to even have a chance…and the reality of it is, you can do everything for the program, and still come up short. This wears on any individual.
This work and these commitments have to be one of the better personifications of a “rat wheel” in any profession/business that I can think of. If you don’t make your conference playoffs or if you’re lucky enough to win your last game of the season or somewhere in between…it starts all over again - and basically from scratch.
Next, there’s recruiting. I have already touched on the time this takes away from family and relationships. I mean, perfect example is this past weekend. If I were still coaching, I would have had to be in Frederica, DE at the Adrenaline Platinum Cup to kick off the summer club circuit (only after attending a dozen high school games in the month of May). Instead, I was able to attend a life long friends bachelor party…and yes, it was 10 dudes staying in a sick rental property on Lake Norman just simply crushing beers, floating in the water and watching the PLL/Stanley Cup. Men are simple creatures.
Now, the “summer circuit” is not seen or experienced the same by everyone. If you are single with no kids it can be an awesome time with old and new friends in different cities.
Summer circuit with a wife/fiance/long time girlfriend/kid(s), is a necessary chore…and can be absolutely brutal.
Now, you could say it’s brutal for everyone! Parents, kids, and coaches. But coaches are out there non-stop. I personally did one summer where of the 56 possible days I could be on the road, I was away from Boston for 52 of them. And attended an event on 49 of them.
And here’s the kicker…the coaches will always have to be on the road recruiting. Parents and kids have a light at the end of the tunnel.
Quick tangent on this, I think lacrosse should evaluate a way to cut down on the “live periods.” All the other major sports have shorter live periods in total number of days. Less time coaches would be allowed to be on the road - and less time kids spend playing 2x 21 minute halves of sloppy lacrosse. And instead, coaches get more time at “home” and kids get more time hanging out with their friends or ACTUALLY PRACTICING THEIR SKILLS to be used in a game. But I digress. That second part has nothing to do with the topic at hand…just my soap box.
The next piece of recruiting is the level of attention the current student-athlete craves from a coach. This has changed significantly in recent years IMO. Kids want to feel the love from a coach and program. And I don’t blame them. And this is not all the kids fault. Some coaches started going above and beyond at one point, and everyone was left trying to one up each other…
No matter how we got here, most of this courting/relationship building starts with a string of phone calls and text messages that assistant coaches initiate and carry out over the life span of the recruiting journey.
And this isn’t just for 10-15 kids in a recruiting class. To get to 15 kids, even the top programs in the country need to build rapport and relationships with hundreds of kids. And the same goes for the transfer portal, just not at the same scale.
This takes time. And lots of it.
The messaging is often nuanced as well. You have your top guys that you want to say yes to coming to your school. But if they don’t, you need to have laid the ground work with other guys…avoiding having to start from scratch when that 5 star picks your rival.
But this takes emotional intelligence and effort. You grow to like these kids. And want to see them succeed…but more than half the time, you’re leading them on for your own personal benefit.
“You are going to have to send your next semester grades before we can get admissions to sign off.”
“We are still strategizing around how we want to build our class, but I really like what you bring to the table.”
“We are looking forward to watching you compete at *insert event at the end of the summer to buy more time.”
Sometimes in the end, it does get as blunt as, “John Doe, we love your game and think you’ll be successful at this level. But we have an offer out to another guy. If he doesn’t accept, I will be calling you.”
All of it is a little misleading. But we as coaches have to protect our programs. Recruiting is our life blood.
This wears on individuals that care about the kids they recruit. Shit, I can still remember guys summer jobs, their sisters sport of choice and the favorite meal their Mother would cook them on their birthday…and those were guys I never got the chance to coach, only recruit.
And, with the current transfer portal rules, your efforts can be all for not because a player who comes, can decide to leave with little to no consequences. BUT, on the flip side, a player you didn’t land initially, decides to hit the portal, and you as a coach can lean on a relationship previous cultivated. No matter the scenario, to get either guy, the work needs to be done.
Oh, and it forces you to be on your phone all the time. Girlfriends, wives, and friends battling for your attention.
The list goes on…
This topic is far more impactful on Head Coaches, but all the guys who walked away would feel the ripple effect if it happened at their school, and (most likely) would have one day been in the HC’s Chair and would be in the “line of fire.”
In today’s landscape of college campuses, one bad decision/action by an 18-23 yr old kid on your team can cost you your job and your career. Period.
Some kid on your team makes a poor decision on Saturday night, the school calls you…interestingly, they don’t call their Math Professor.
This is terrifying. And some people don’t feel the need to leave their careers and lives in the hands of 18-22yr olds. And that age range can be expanded to 16-22 if you count recruiting, which again is the lifeblood to any teams success.
But zoom out from a bad decision on a Saturday night…a coaches “success” is determined by decisions and efforts he makes, which are then filtered through the brain of a 16-22 yr old male, and then the “outcome” after that filtration, is evaluated as successful or unsuccessful for the coach. Is there any other profession that success is this far removed from an individuals control? Let alone put in the hands of a demographic that have less than enduring stereotypical sayings that define them, “boys will be boys” & “young and dumb.”
I will say, because of this and other Head Coaching “responsibilities” - coupled with the way top assistants are being compensated today, we will continue to see more career assistants…following in the footsteps of the greats like Coach Van Arsdale and Coach Metzbower. Sometimes the goal isn’t to be a HC.
Speaking of salaries, I hesitate to bring them into this, b/c no one gets into the Lacrosse Coaching profession for the money. And yes, on average, are there better paying jobs out there? Of course. Even at an entry level. But I’ll tell you what, I took multiple pay cuts getting out of coaching. And I say this b/c it emphasizes the point that these coaches who have recently stepped away, were being better compensated than previous generations of coaches…and deservedly so b/c of the expectations of the job.
But nonetheless, there’s more $$ in the “private sector” or “corporate America” than there is in Lacrosse (generally speaking). And guess what, most of the time you don’t have to work weekends…so even if the pay is the same, the hours working certainly are not.
And then there’s the potential for “upward trajectory.” There are only 77 D1 programs, and to be honest, not all of them would be an upward trajectory move for an assistant, no matter the position a certain assistant took (Head Coach, Associate Head or Coordinator). And I think we are seeing this with 1 particular vacant head job and 1 assistant job being turned down by multiple candidates.
This doesn’t take into consideration the impacts the new legislation is going to have when added to Title IX. If you can’t read between the lines on that one, I’ll just say it. There will be less D1 Men’s teams in 10 years and I’m bold enough to say it will happen in 5 yrs! Additionally, there’s a real chance there are less D3/D2 teams as well given the economic troubles of those types of institutions across the country. RIP Limestone. Justice for Lindenwood.
But to bring this back to corporate America - I say all this to show you that the “career advancement” opportunities are much more plentiful in the private sector than in Men’s Lacrosse.
All of this together is exhausting. And makes you think…is it worth it?
That answer must be decided by the individual. But I will say this, there is no better place on this earth than a locker room. It’s simply unmatched.
It is also beyond fulfilling to work with a young man to help get himself to a position to be successful, help him reach his potential, and be there for him when he enviably hits rough patches in his life. There’s no greater feeling than helping someone. And a good coach is always helping.
But this all comes at a price.
Yes, coaches jobs got harder with NIL and the transfer portal. But the above is more than enough to make a coach question his path & career. Piling the NIL/transfer portal on top doesn’t move the needle much. Plus, “real” money creates real problems (players getting deals 5x their coach’s salary) and that won’t be happening in Lacrosse any time soon.
I’m not sure there’s much that can be done to change the next National Champion winning assistant from walking away. That persons situation needs to allow for him to fully commit to something bigger than himself, that isn’t his family and friends (or anything else that might be important to him). And I’m here to say, I don’t think there’s any (realistic) amount of money that could have kept some of these recent departures in their seat. Yes, they could all coach for the salaries of the top Football/M. Basketball assistants, but that’s a fantasyland for lacrosse.
And let me leave you with this…
Without debate, one of the most successful NCAA D1 Head coaches in the last 2 decades is single. No immediate family. He’s married to the game. He’s married to his program.
And I find that correlation to be eye opening.
Rule #1,
-Nothing Near Post
You can follow Coach Silberlicht on Twitter: @Niner_M. You can also listen to him on the Nothing Near Post podcast which is available on Spotify and Youtube.
